Every Terrier knows they can’t use the E Hall bathrooms, but does anyone really know why?

Well, it’s time for the truth to unfold. The E Hall toilets swallowed a student. 

Recent news has revealed that on the calm afternoon of October 22, 2023, the E hall toilets collectively devoured an entire Del Val student. To protect the family’s privacy, the student’s identity cannot be disclosed.

Students and their fear of being eaten have wreaked havoc throughout the building. How could Del Val cover up such a calamity for five months?  

As of now, the Del Val students gather to boycott all bathrooms. 

“If E hall toilets were able to swallow a student, what is stopping other bathroom toilets from doing the same?” sophomore Taylor Aycock said.

Supervisor of Security, Dr. Ariel Gilbert, shared her opinion on this tragedy with “The Delphi.”

“The events of the past months surrounding the ‘toilet swallowing’ incident have been deeply distressing,” Gilbert said. “Throughout my tenure in education, I never imagined contending with such a bizarre occurrence. While the school community is understandably shaken, I am confident that we will swiftly address the situation, restore order and rebuild trust in our facilities.”

This incident has been wrongly hidden from the student body for months, and there is no acceptable excuse. 

Be careful, Terriers. You never know which toilets are safe.