Students at Del Val are in for a surprise now that the gym teachers have decided to increase the intensity of fitness during gym class to running five miles. 

Teachers feel that students aren’t getting the necessary level of exercise and believe this adjustment will help make up for the utter lack of athleticism that has been shown in class. 

“Students will be allowed to wear raincoats and boots on rainy days,” gym teacher Marty White said. “Water breaks will only be permitted after the third mile, and when finished. Students who do not finish the five miles in under 25 minutes will fail and be required to run an additional two miles during lunchtime to get a passing grade.”

Once down at the track, students will not be allowed to go back up into the school until after running is completed. Students should bring their water bottles and drink at the specific times assigned by teachers. 

Overall gym grades will be based upon the speed and consistency of the individual student. Those who complete the five miles in under 25 minutes will receive an 80%. Consistently completing the five miles under 22 minutes will get a 90% and under 18 minutes will get a 98%. 

Students who go to make up running during lunch will be able to get their grades up to a maximum of 70%, and those who fail to make up these miles will fail gym class. 

Since running is done every class, other activities such as “Just Dance,” walking and meditation will be eliminated. These activities have been deemed ineffective in contributing to student fitness and a waste of time. 

The decision to implement this policy has long been discussed by the administration and teachers, with them reaching a unanimous decision that it was necessary. 

At Del Val there has been a drastic decrease in athletic ability and overall health of students. This new fitness regimen will solve this issue, leading to an increase in health and general happiness.

Del Val has promised that this policy is here to stay, and will have a positive benefit on students’ well-being.