Cinematic throw down: Little v. Remy


Sarah Ruppert

Wyatt Titus, The Delphi Editor

People love fights: from McGregor v. Mayweather, Superman v. Batman, and countless other battles. Today, though, we rise from the senseless herd and discuss the fight that matters, Stuart Little v. Remy. ​To determine the outcome of the match, it is important to analyze tools, skills, and intelligence.

First off, consider the tools and gadgets at the contestants’ disposal. Stuart little gets the immediate upper hand when you consider his array of vehicles, such as his little car and boat. Remy, however, comes back strong with various knives and kitchen tools which he is quite skilled with. Remy ends up taking the lead quite easily in this round due to having Alfredo Linguini on his side. The tally thus far is one to zero.

The obvious winner for tools is Remy, using his practical neurology skills to have any random human act upon his wishes as he whips up delicious meals. Remy also, in his infinite wisdom and generous hospitality, has a horde of family rats that jump to help him in a pinch. Stuart, on the other hand, can drive and has a smile like Michael J. Fox, but these qualities pale when facing the French rat, putting the score at two to zero in Remy’s favor.

Unfortunately for Stuart, he also falls short of the chef in intelligence. Little is a seven-year-old freeloader while Remy is a cherished gourmet with an excellent job that supports his extensive family. Remy also has experience manipulating the human brain, accomplishing more than even the most skilled human neurologist. In all fairness to Stuart, however, driving all of those vehicles at age 7 is no small feat. The final category ends the fight at three to zero in favor of Remy.

As the dust settles, only one rodent still stands with Remy taking home the cup. This match-up had a clear winner as Stuart begins the long drive home to the disappointed Little house hold. Hopefully Remy will make a nice escargot meal in that cup.